Lets Roll...

Sat in the car I begin 2 hour trip to Bristol alone.  I feel any car games I wish to play are going to be slightly one sided, either way I choose red and I'm off to a whopping start, until I see a bus and debate with myself as to whether that counts.


  The journeys off to a good start, I fly through a mobile speed camera doing around 80 in the outside lane, I tried to convince myself I slowed down in time but its unlikely. The remaining 1 hour and 50 minutes of the journey goes without any trouble though, I only pass three crashes, hit one tailback and get undertaken by three BMW'S two motorbikes and a Nissan Micra.  I even manage to park just round the corner from the Heart building too, although I feel the £5 parking fee for a limit of 4 hours is a bit expensive... lets hope there aren't any long waits.

 Arriving at the  reception there's just one person queueing at the desk, awesome.  My turn comes along and I hand over my appointment card to the receptionist.  I turn around and herd of people have joined behind me, damn sneaky grave dodgers! One guy is clutching his chest, yes pal, well done, we know why your here. Having sat down a mere 5 minutes has passed and I'm already bored, Lorraine is on the TV but its just not my thing.  I pick up a leaflet to read... 'Heart Transplant' great!  Its filled with information I hope I'll never need to know.
 
 A nurse calls me in to take my ops.  While one trainee nurse takes my SATS (yes that's, right, in year 9 I had a nurse take all my exams for me...) anyway, another older, qualified nurse who obviously hasn't shifted out of her chair all day gets my weight and height, she gets this by using a very technologically advanced and superior sophisticated method... she asks me.  What a pro! 
 
Nurse:  'How tall are you?'
Me:  '5ft 3'
Nurse:  'Woo, your small then' (well done, did you not notice that as I walked through the door?)
Me:  ...
Nurse:   'Weight?'
Me:   'I'm not sure'
Nurse:  'About...?'
Me:  'How much I weigh'
Nurse  'No, about how much do you weigh?'
Me:  'Yes, I'm not sure'
Nurse:  Long piercing stare whilst reaching for a very large needle...
Me:  'Between 7st 10 and 8st'
Nurse:  'Let's just say 7st 11' 
 
 Yes, let's.  When the Doctor wishes to inject me with something, medicine, anaesthetic... let's just say about 5 mls shall we?
I could have stayed at home guessed my height, weight and that I'd live another year...
 
 Back to sitting down I go.  The place is empty and there are about 15 chairs to choose from so I sit in the corner out of the way, to get some peace.  A minute later some old guy sits right next to me! THERE ARE 14 SPARE CHAIRS SCATTERED ACROSS THE GOD DAMN ROOM! He turns to me and smiles. 


 Suddenly my palpitation's start, I feel myself short of breath, I fall to the floor wheezing and gasping on my hands and knees, the old man quickly gets up, bending over to see if I'm alright and I hit him with a monster uppercut... the force lifts him 3 foot off the floor... everything is now in slow motion as he glides slowly backwards through the air, my fist still clinched from the follow through, blood fountaining up from his broken face.... and he falls back into his chair.

Maybe sometimes I zone out little, fall into a daydream....




....and maybe not.