Wonders and Weirdness of Aberystwyth

Top FIVE weird things seen in Aberystwyth

Aberystwyth, known for its inviting Royal Pier, cultured buildings, overwhelming student population and lack of parking attendants. The town and tourists descend, whether to sit upon the pier admiring the white horses of the sea crashing into the beach that fittingly gives Aberystwyth’s name as ‘Mouth of the River Ystwyth’, or watching the starlings who reside amongst the pier each evening dancing to the backdrop of the setting sun.

Whilst the town does have its heartwarming characteristics, it also has its moments of weird and wackiness.  Not a day has been spent up in the north where I haven’t at least once taken a second glance to confirm what my eyes would not initially believe.  So I have compiled a quick shortlist of the 5 strangest things Ive seen in Aberystwyth…

5. Man Shaving in Public Toilets

Whilst I venture each day to the public convenience on numerous occasions, I do happen to come across things slightly out of the ordinary.  Whether it be an elderly man sitting upon the toilet… with the door wide open or a 14 year girl standing in the doorway waiting for, well, I'm not really sure… None though will compare to seeing a man having a full shave complete with shaving foam, face brush and a flannel…

4. Ancient Barbarian Walking By

Sat amongst my desk watching the cars go by when across the road emerges an ancient Barbarian, wielding his sword with one hand and grasping his shield in the other.  A quick stroll down the pier was needed just make sure that the Vikings had not landed…

 (Representation of what I saw... sort of)

3. Nobody Crossing at the Crossing

The hoard of students, tourists and residents that descend upon the town centre brings a London-esque feel to it, more so when you are using the main pedestrian crossing and you find yourself battling shoulder to shoulder whilst dodging the oncoming traffic people.  

It was one afternoon that I joined the group of eagerly swaying heads, waiting for the lights to turn and the green man to confirm ‘It is safe, death will not be if you come now’… as I waited and waited, then the thought runs through your mind while you are amassed by 20 other people ‘Has anyone actually pressed the button?’ People are still joining, but no one is pressing the button, nobody wants to look a fool and question the first arrivals if they had pressed the button.  Having been stood there for a good five minutes before someone broke from the pack and headed for the button, gasps went up as she fought her way through the crowd and pressed her wrinkly old hag finger upon button.  Less than a minute later the green man burst into action summoning us across and the little old lady disappeared into the crowd never to be seen again...

2.  Giant Hoover gets Run Over

The internal roads of Aberystwyth seem to have more accidents than anywhere else and get closed down more often than the local whore house.  So its no surprise to see police and ambulances on occasions blocking up the roads attending to pedestrians and drivers... It is a surprise however to see a giant hoover as the centre of attention...

 A local road had been closed and emergency services attended, The ambulance parked up on the pavement, police cars were used to close the road and the officers surrounding the giant bagless victim in the middle of the road... The question is was mouth to mouth given or the suck and blow switches alternated....

1.  Sheep Goes to Dentists

 Yes... A SHEEP taken to THE DENTISTS.

There's not really much else to write about this as the title tells the whole story.  A farmer pulled up outside the dentist, unloaded a sheep from his trailer and walked it into the Dentists... the sheep came out an hour later... smiling...

Lets Roll...

Sat in the car I begin 2 hour trip to Bristol alone.  I feel any car games I wish to play are going to be slightly one sided, either way I choose red and I'm off to a whopping start, until I see a bus and debate with myself as to whether that counts.


  The journeys off to a good start, I fly through a mobile speed camera doing around 80 in the outside lane, I tried to convince myself I slowed down in time but its unlikely. The remaining 1 hour and 50 minutes of the journey goes without any trouble though, I only pass three crashes, hit one tailback and get undertaken by three BMW'S two motorbikes and a Nissan Micra.  I even manage to park just round the corner from the Heart building too, although I feel the £5 parking fee for a limit of 4 hours is a bit expensive... lets hope there aren't any long waits.

 Arriving at the  reception there's just one person queueing at the desk, awesome.  My turn comes along and I hand over my appointment card to the receptionist.  I turn around and herd of people have joined behind me, damn sneaky grave dodgers! One guy is clutching his chest, yes pal, well done, we know why your here. Having sat down a mere 5 minutes has passed and I'm already bored, Lorraine is on the TV but its just not my thing.  I pick up a leaflet to read... 'Heart Transplant' great!  Its filled with information I hope I'll never need to know.
 
 A nurse calls me in to take my ops.  While one trainee nurse takes my SATS (yes that's, right, in year 9 I had a nurse take all my exams for me...) anyway, another older, qualified nurse who obviously hasn't shifted out of her chair all day gets my weight and height, she gets this by using a very technologically advanced and superior sophisticated method... she asks me.  What a pro! 
 
Nurse:  'How tall are you?'
Me:  '5ft 3'
Nurse:  'Woo, your small then' (well done, did you not notice that as I walked through the door?)
Me:  ...
Nurse:   'Weight?'
Me:   'I'm not sure'
Nurse:  'About...?'
Me:  'How much I weigh'
Nurse  'No, about how much do you weigh?'
Me:  'Yes, I'm not sure'
Nurse:  Long piercing stare whilst reaching for a very large needle...
Me:  'Between 7st 10 and 8st'
Nurse:  'Let's just say 7st 11' 
 
 Yes, let's.  When the Doctor wishes to inject me with something, medicine, anaesthetic... let's just say about 5 mls shall we?
I could have stayed at home guessed my height, weight and that I'd live another year...
 
 Back to sitting down I go.  The place is empty and there are about 15 chairs to choose from so I sit in the corner out of the way, to get some peace.  A minute later some old guy sits right next to me! THERE ARE 14 SPARE CHAIRS SCATTERED ACROSS THE GOD DAMN ROOM! He turns to me and smiles. 


 Suddenly my palpitation's start, I feel myself short of breath, I fall to the floor wheezing and gasping on my hands and knees, the old man quickly gets up, bending over to see if I'm alright and I hit him with a monster uppercut... the force lifts him 3 foot off the floor... everything is now in slow motion as he glides slowly backwards through the air, my fist still clinched from the follow through, blood fountaining up from his broken face.... and he falls back into his chair.

Maybe sometimes I zone out little, fall into a daydream....




....and maybe not.

Do you have ID?... Because you look about 12

  Now, I'm not usually one to moan about being asked for ID, in fact I carry my drivers licence everywhere so I never have to risk it.  But that is for alcohol, where it is now widely followed that if you look under 25 you'll be requested to produce a form of respectful identification.
  However, I have never, I don't think EVER! been asked for ID for...... wait for it........ Lottery!

 
 So the story goes...
 
  It was a warm afternoon, as all the CHILDREN were in school, the sun was high in the sky letting off an unusual heat for an Octobers afternoon.  A slight breeze brushed past my face as I exited my vehicle, which you have to be at least 17 to drive....  

  I made my way through the foyer of the supermarket, giving the security guard a generous smile, I approached the lottery stand and filled in the forms for the evenings draw allowing myself to pass a thought on what I would spend my winnings on, perhaps an 25-30's cruise holiday?  Sniggering to myself thinking my wife would go nuts if I decided to pack my bags and head for the sea.
    Making my way over to the counter which was manned by a lady, a rather old lady, sorry, very old lady.  She had a warming a smile, a smile I would soon wish to slap off her wrinkly old face. To feel her coarse, harshly rough skin against the softness on the back of my young delicate hand.

'Hi' she said, barely breaking her coat hanger smile as I went to hand her the tickets. 

She followed with 'Do you have any ID?'


 I was immediately taken aback, overwhelmed with confusion and agreed with myself that due to my partial deafness I MUST have misheard

'Sorry?' I said

'Do you have any ID' She replied, her jaw and lips still glued in position, her false teeth sparkling under the brightness of the counter lights.

My smile turned to anguish, what is happening? I thought to myself, confused of the event that was beginning to unfold.  I am 27 years old... am I not? Now starting to question my age, my life flashed through my mind... 



My 18th birthday party, dancing, laughter, I broke my mothers leg...

My friends 21st birthday, drink, drink, stomach pumped...

My son being born March 22nd 2005, cradling him in my arms, tears of joy...

My wedding earlier this year, our first dance, eating chicken and cake in the room....




I managed to catch a glance in a mirror, yes I was still 27, my rugged good looks and defining facial features still held strong.
Fear gripped me, my eyes danced around to see if anyone had witnessed this horror.  No, thankfully.


 I held back temptation to question why I would be holding a set of car keys in my hand and that if she felt I was a mere 15 years old then her witnessing me driving off  it would be her duty to alert the police of Grand Theft Auto, then the police could arrest and caution her for wasting police time and I could laugh at her stupidness.
  My ID was 60 miles in another county, I had nothing to back up claim.  'Never mind' my voice stuttered before I turned and fled.  


 Sitting in the car I was overcome by mixed emotions, gripped with rage yet filled with despair.  I gathered my thoughts trying to put the event behind me and I hit the road, I didn't know where I was going or how long it would take me to get there, but one thing I did know...


I would not let some old, power mad woman destroy my life and deny me my ticket. 

Diary of a Dextrocardia(n)

As my blog is titled Diary of a Dextrocardia(n) it might be a good idea for me to include some actual stories lifted right out of my journal.
So I have scoured my notepads (picked up the first one I could find) and gruelingly read page after page (opened book and picked random entry).


The Date: unknown, I'd say two years ago
Destination of Entrant: Local Hospital bed
Reason for Hospitalization: Probably the usual chest pain....


It's 7.30 am, there's a patient alarm going off, nurses are hollering back and forth and Santa in the bed opposite me is having his nappy changed, good morning world. I'm just finishing off my breakfast and the cleaners are in, they make they're way over and are now shooing me off the bed. I attempt to wave my unfinished peace of toast in they're face but are having none of it, I concede defeat and move onto the adjacent chair.
Looking out the window I notice some old hag staring at me from the outpatients department, our eyes meet, I'm gonna stare this nosey bitch to the ground 1..2..3...4... I win! It's a hollow victory though, she's going home... I'm not. Her husband has now turned his attention to me, they're damn tag teaming me! I refuse to succumb to such childishness... I smile, I wave, give the finger and close the curtains.

My bed is done, at least I think it is? It looks exactly the same and the covers don't seem to be the Thomas the Tank ones I requested.

I move back onto the bed, my DS still hasn't charged, the TV is stuck on S4C and I've read all my magazines... Great.
Oh wait, Morristons Wife Beater has just appeared in his doorway, probably to see why no ones answering the alarm, either that or he thinks 'rounds out'
Finally a nurse has answered the bell, I hope it wasn't fatal.
Morristons Wife Beater wipes something on his vest and disappears back into his room... That was close.

I'm bored, really bored. I decide to re-re-re-read one of my magazines, I lie back and try ignore all the sounds and goings on and escape into my mag.

'Rhodri' Someone calls

'Rhodri'

'Rhodri'

I lower my magazine to see what is going on to see the guy in the opposite bed calling over in my direction 'Rhodri'

He's pretty much shouting now... 'RHODRI!'

I raise my mag, Rhodri's not my name, even it was I still wouldn't answer ('Rhodri!') He probably only wants to go to the toilet...

'RHODRI!!!'

I put down my magazine to find him at the end of my bed leaning towards me, I'd better see what he wants...
'Left out the door' I tell him.

He thanks me, heads for the door and turns right... this should be fun, wheres my popcorn. I should buzz a nurse really but unfortunately I'm all for the thrill of the chase. He's barely passed the window before a nurse is apprehending him. It's over in seconds, damn.

'Where are you going love?' she enquires as she begins to lead him back to his bed

'I need the toilet'

'There's a bottle by your bed' she tells him

'This won't fit in the bottle' he replies

Nice.

Taking a walk... For Charity

Time to get fit fatty

So I recently had my yearly checkup and the main outcome of it (other than perhaps find a cheaper place to park... say, for free) My Cardiologist determined that I should be undertaking a bit more exercise.
 Now, I'm hardly the beached whale washed up on the sofa, covered in crisps and chocolate shouting at my wife to hurry the midday hog roast snack along...

No.  I'd say I've a fairly ripped physique, with the washboard stomach and my big guns resting upon my arms.  But maybe I do need to work on my cardio and perhaps put a bit more effort in each week to break a sweat.

So in light of this I thought I'd set myself a little challenge, while raising money for a good cause at the same time.


The Goal

My intention is to do a walk.  The walk will be around 20 miles long and the route will be leaving my mothers house where I grew up in, walking to my local Hospital where I spent many weeks during my childhood and returning to the start.

The route is in representation of a journey I undertook many times when I was younger.


The Donation

At the moment I'm not entirely sure as to which charity I intend to do the walk for.  I also have considered giving donations to the children's ward of my local hospital to be used to purchase entertainment for the youngsters. Again, at the moment this is all just being considered and is under 'construction'

The Team

I would like to thank all my friends and family who will be joining me on my quest, my wife especially who will be whipping me into shape for the event.



Keep watch, I will be updating any progressions of the idea and eventual goal.  I will also be advising of my training progress... Last night I banged out a 10 minute run on the Wii Fit, I'd say that's enough for this month... Now wheres my sofa?

My love for Demolition Man

One of the thing's my wife hates about me is my obsession of the film Demolition Man

Starring

Sylvester Stallone, Sandra Bullock and Wesley Snipes

It's not the film itself she hates, in fact she's never even seen it. Her hatred comes from the fact that its been sitting on our Sky+ box taking up space for the last 5 years... even when I have a copy on DVD.

My love for the film though doesn't come from Stallone's cheesy lines, Bullocks bad acting or even Snipe's love for guns and verbal assaults. No, the obsession is built around a memory, it represents a moment of happiness, a release during an difficult time.

When I was about 13 I had to have my tonsils out, not a big or complicated procedure... for the normal person, but due to my heart complications and the medication I take one of the problems which always arise is bleeding.  I bleed, a lot. Taking a medication called Warfarin (a lot of people will probably be aware of this drug as its widely used to treat numerous cases and is frequently used with older patients.)
 #FUN FACT its also used in rat poison
Warfarin is used to stable the blood at a sufficient level to avoid clotting and hemorrhaging, with blood tests taken regularly to control it and haematologists advise the correct dose as levels tend to rise and fall.

Bristol Childrens hopsital - Where I had my tonsils removed

This meant that I bled, heavily and when the inside of your throat has had parts cut out and didn't clot over very well, every time I was sick it was not nice.

*warning next content can be unsettling
It was nothing but blood and lots of it, even through my nose. The first time it happened it scared the crap out of me as I was not expecting it.*

So this went on for a couple of days, and near the end of it I had had enough, I was sick of it literally as well as physically. I turned on the TV and up next was Demolition Man and for that hour and a half I was happy, being 13 I loved the film... guns, violence, naughty words, cheesy lines... this film was awesome. It took my mind off everything, I was no longer thinking when was I going to be sick or if I'd get to sleep that night, I didn't care.

So when my wife asks me...

'Can I delete this off the Sky+ planner?'

Yeah why not, delete away part of my life.

There are some moments in life we will leave behind forever, then there are others we will carry with us through to our parting days.

  There are two things I remember from this time, the first was being constantly sick, scared and wondering if it would ever end. The second was this film and the peace it brought.  Everything else is a blur, something that will fade even more in time.



So in the words of John Spartan:

'Enough! This isn't the Wild West. The Wild West wasn't even the Wild West. Hurting people's not a good thing! Well, sometimes it is, but not when it's a bunch of people looking for something to eat!'



That's right, it made absolute no sense to this post... but I felt it was relevant... Thank you for reading.

Imagination... Lego comes alive

This entry may seem completely irrelevant to what my blog is about, but it's not. My blog is a diary, past and present, of a Dextrocardia(n). And sometimes even a Dextrocardia(n) likes to open up the gates to the world of fantasy and let the imagination go on it's own little journey...




Having two weeks and the weather not being the best I decided to make my own adventure... in my garden.

Take some Lego men, a dinosaur, some wood and delve deep in the undergrowth of the back of beyond...

A Hunters Pride 

[Part 1]

The world awaits for these two hunters

Unaware of the dangers that lurk amongst the tall grass, they slowly make they're way through  the forest

 

 

Escape through the bushes is his only chance, unfortunately his companion was not so lucky

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Escaping one torment draws him into another, clasped up against a wall in the hope that he can evade the preying eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And...

That's as far as I got before a shower came.  I could have done some more with the rain providing some excellent waterfall effects, however I don't think my camera would have appreciated it as much as I would have.

Stay tuned for Part 2